Heartbreaks bring you closer to finding ‘the one’

Friday, January 21, 2011

WELLINGTON - A new study shows that getting your heartbroken in love only means that you are getting closer to finding that one perfect person for you.

Dr Gian Gonzaga, a psychologist, has said that despite the pain of heartbreak, those who have had a previous long-term relationship were at an advantage in the dating world.

“Think about all of the things that you do in life where you get better with practice, and a lot of times people don’t believe that about relationships,” Stuff.co.nz quoted Gonzaga as saying.

“They feel like once they’ve been in a relationship that’s unsuccessful, they have failed. They feel like they’re not worthy of love, so they may treat people in a different way that makes it harder to have a better long term-relationship the second time around,” he added.

Gonzaga suggests that instead of acting out, the broken-hearted should take a big-picture view of their former long term relationship and learn from it.

“Also take a look at your former partner and think about what was it that they were missing, or you needed to have in a partner that you didn’t know,” he said.

Effectively, this means that you use the knowledge to be better, smarter at picking out the right partner and doing the right things in relationships.

“It’s not that people don’t realise this - a lot of people take a lot of individual lessons, but very few people put all of them together,” he said.

Gonzaga, who is based in California, has written the book, ‘Dating the Second Time Around: Finding Love That Lasts’. (ANI)

Filed under: Science and Technology

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